Pushing Portland

I rarely write about my emotional side not because I don't have one but simply because I try to resist acknowledging its existence. 

Recently, I met this incredible guy. I was in denial that he's amazing; after all, I met him in a dating site and nowadays, who would believe what people say in there. He was a bit slow in the beginning. He made me think whether he was actually interested or just being polite with me. Finally, I was able to speed up the pace and we finally communicated via a messaging app. Initially, I thought he was cocky so I was about to erase his name when I decided to send him another message until we finally spoke with each other on the phone.

Surprisingly, we hit it off quite well. Too well that I had to remind myself to slow it down. We had things in common apart from sex. He is smart, candid, real, and 'decent' too. My ideal guy, my type of guy. Too good to be true. And he cannot know this. He simply couldn't; he shouldn't. 

As always, I tried to see how he is. Tried to entice him with physical things and it worked fleetingly and then backfired. He's a keeper but there must be something wrong with him. There has to be. So on the date that I was also stressing out emotionally from supposedly friends, 'work', and other things, I pushed him away. Pushed him as far as I could. 

Sadly, it worked. 

I miss him and I am stupid.

 

★ Piper ★

_______-zoned

UPDATE: 

*typed on my phone as I was waiting for a bus last night*

Have you ever been friend-zoned? Seen zoned? Or all those other terms they use to connote you being placed in a specific, wholesome, non-romantic, or even non-sexual category of someone you like or may potentially like?

How did you feel?
Did it suck? Did you feel terrible? Or you were just, okay, next?

Somehow it depends, right? It depends on the intensity of your "likeness" to that person. Sometimes it just boosts our ego if we "manage" to have someone like us even though we don't really like them that much. And sometimes, sadly, when you're used to it, it doesn't really matter any more. What else is new...

You just shrug it off and wait for the next one (if there'll ever be a new one...)

You're probably asking in your mind, what about you, Piper? Have you ever experienced rejection?

Of course! Most definitely so.

In fact, one of the guys I really like (and likes me as well) rejected my advances on going to the next level. It initially hurt me but then after my infatuation stage for him, I realized it's all for the better.

How fast do you "get over" the rejection? For me, it depends. The bottom line is, I tell myself, is that I get over it. I will not allow myself to be a slave of something that isn't meant to happen --- I have forcing things (unless I know and am aware the other person likes it that way).

One of the things I do is ignore the person. Yes, call it bitter or anything synonymous, that has worked for me. I wouldn't wanna waste my time thinking why Cute Guy didn't make a move on me. It's Cute Guy's loss not mine. Ever watched the movie, All About Love starring Ashton Kutcher and Amanda Peet? It's one of my favorite movies especially Peet's character. She kept on insisting to Ashton Kutcher's character how he didn't make the first move. That's what I try to do.

I try not to make a very aggressive move BUT I do something to show I'm interested. If it didn't work then I'll accept it and move on. At least, in my mind, no regrets.

Life is too short to live in, "What ifs" or "I wonder what could have happened..."

Life is what you make of it.

You have one chance.

No regrets.


Wishing you a safe weekend,

★ Piper ★