I rarely write about my emotional side not because I don't have one but simply because I try to resist acknowledging its existence.
Recently, I met this incredible guy. I was in denial that he's amazing; after all, I met him in a dating site and nowadays, who would believe what people say in there. He was a bit slow in the beginning. He made me think whether he was actually interested or just being polite with me. Finally, I was able to speed up the pace and we finally communicated via a messaging app. Initially, I thought he was cocky so I was about to erase his name when I decided to send him another message until we finally spoke with each other on the phone.
Surprisingly, we hit it off quite well. Too well that I had to remind myself to slow it down. We had things in common apart from sex. He is smart, candid, real, and 'decent' too. My ideal guy, my type of guy. Too good to be true. And he cannot know this. He simply couldn't; he shouldn't.
As always, I tried to see how he is. Tried to entice him with physical things and it worked fleetingly and then backfired. He's a keeper but there must be something wrong with him. There has to be. So on the date that I was also stressing out emotionally from supposedly friends, 'work', and other things, I pushed him away. Pushed him as far as I could.
Sadly, it worked.
I miss him and I am stupid.
★ Piper ★
