Of chain emails and catching up...

Hey there.

Someone messaged me privately asking how I have been. I've been okay, just busy with stuff :)

I am cleaning my email and going over like old email which made me smile. Do you remember receiving those chain emails that if and when you don't do this you'll have bad luck etc?


Oh well, just saw one about what our horoscopes say about our personality.

Here's what it says about me:

The Perfectionist 

Dominant in relationships. 
Conservative. 
Always wants the last word. 
Argumentative. 
Worries. 
Very smart. 
Dislikes noise and chaos. 
Eager. 
Hardworking. 
Loyal. 
Beautiful. 
Easy to talk to. 
Hard to please. 
Harsh. 
Practical and very fussy. 
Often shy. 
Pessimistic. 

Do you agree? :)
Happy Friday!


★ Piper ★

In the Car part 1...

I have always prided myself that in spite of my "aggressiveness" as perceived by many, I still 'wait' for a guy to make the first move. 

During my stint back home (2014), I met this guy. Technically, I already met him 'virtually' (which is no longer uncommon nowadays) but only saw him in person one late Monday night in September. 

He described himself 5'10-5'11 (my type), plays basketball (my type), and medium built. You see, the reason I hate asking for personal deets like these is that I have a very creative imagination and giving me such details can make me come up with ideas of how a guy can possibly look like. 

Fast forward, I finally met him. Let's just say that out of all the things he said, the height was clearly correct. Oh and maybe the basketball part (although from his physique that night, it seems he hasn't been playing quite a while). He was stocky; clearly not MY type but there was usomething about him that made me want to stay with them longer than intended. We ended up chitchatting during his lunch break. I brought him a cupcake by the way so plus points for me. Nothing happened on that night. Like what I said, I will not make the first move.

Fast forward to Friday of that same week, things have gone a bit faster. Both of us were very vocal of wanting to get inside each other's pants. So we met again. I picked him up at our meeting place and went to the nearby shopping area. In the car, we were talking and talking still about wholesome and sometimes a bit naughty stuff but this younger guy is still NOT making a move. 

My hormones got the better of me and I made a move in kissing him. Slowly. Shyly. Deliberately. It was like I was savoring every second of it. He then slowly responded and things started getting hot. Hot enough that we were heavily petting in my not-so-tinted car and people possibly seeing us but I didn't care. I let him suck my tits, mash my breasts, and touch me down there. I also sucked him too. Every so often though we would stop coz baka may makahuli sa amin. We were both so horny and pressed for time (I am meeting a friend of mine) that I moved my car somewhere between two other vehicles that the car was somewhat "covered" by the other two vehicles. The heavy petting ensued but I was so horny I told him to take out his manhood. I sucked on it and then i moved my body to his side (passenger seat) and sat on it. Straddled on it. Pumped on it and swayed too. 

I was so horny that I wanted to be in control. I was pumping on him like crazy. But it was getting difficult coz I felt he was concerned about us getting caught. :( 

TBC...

★ Piper ★

Half only please...part 1

This happened twenty years ago when I was a teenager. You do the math. I am no cougar nor a MILF since I am still single and never had kids. 

The other questions you have kindly ask them here. 

Going back, I had my first serious "boyfriend". Technically, Casper guy was my first but our relationship was short-lived hence I had to consider this guy, Paranaque Playboy (PP) as my FSB (first serious boyfriend). PP and I met via crossline. Again, those who lived during that decade know what I'm talking about. We "threw" (gave away) our respective numbers and spoke extensively on the phone after that. PP then was a college student in DLSU. I was still in high school. (None of my batch mates interest me. I briefly dated a guy from an exclusive boys school in Katipunan but he was too goody-goody for my liking.) 

Anyway, PP and I eventually talked on the phone, on a regular basis. Then he asked if he can pick me up from school. Of course during this time, it was a big deal if you're 'dating' a college guy --- someone supposedly mature etc. Long story short, he picked me up at school. He lives in Paranaque and for him to go through at least a 2hour-travel time (one way pa lang) is E for effort in my juvenile mind. Little do I know that it was his own way of getting something from me. The courtship was not so long. A month of him picking me up everyday and showering me with gifts. Needless to say, I was fucking smitten with him. Who wouldn't be? He's tall (5'10), dark, and handsome plus charming and even my family already likes him. As with any other boyfriend-girlfriend relationships, there would be some 'messing around' aka sweetum-tweetum make out sessions. Since I already had my first kiss here, PP is now my second kiss and mind you, it was totally different from my first. More tongue and more insistent. Each day while our house help was watching Villa Quintana (Donna Cruz starring), he and I were in my room kissing like crazy. Or his tongue and fingers exploring my young body. From my breasts to my virgin pussy. I was hesitant and excited at the same time. I was curious as to how it'd feel. What I do know is that him touching my clit was not enough. I think I wanted more. Scratch that, I knew I wanted more. 

But PP knows I am still a virgin so he took extra care and patience (kuno) before deflowering me. Every week, gradually nagle-level up kami sa 'exploration' until we reached the point na penetration na lang ang kulang. I was stupid and relied on him mostly on the consequences and how to go about it. That's why to those reading this who have teenage daughters, please talk with them. PLEASE. One day that we didn't have class he asked me if I can come see him in Paranaque. It was not near but I wanted to be with him so I took the risk of taking that long commute just to see him. I also felt 'proud' that at my young age I will be introduced to his family and friends as the girlfriend. (I will find out later on that I was the 3rd party). His family there consisted of his aunt (who wasn't that old compared to him) and her two kids, much younger than me, thank God. He took care of me while I was there and was very much 'behaved" so I thought whew, no hanky panky. But I spoke too soon. After lunch, (I arrived there around 10:30 in the morning), his aunt had to bring her kids to school (pang-hapon sila). Yun pala ang nasa isip nya. Tsk tsk. As soon as they left, he started kissing me. I was taken aback initially but soon gave in to his kisses. He then reached down and touched me where I have been getting 'wet' the past few weeks now. But as to why, I was still clueless then. Clearly PP was in no mood to be educating me on Sex Ed. This went on until I saw him pull down his board shorts and guided me in touching him. I was scared --- I mean the past few weeks it was him mostly seeing parts of my body but for me it was my first time to see a male organ --- and a big one at that. 

I was scared and unsure of how to go about it. Sensing my hesitation, he held my hand and guided me to where he wanted it to be. It was my first time to touch a guy's penis and I was curious and scared. I was hesitant too because I somehow knew that this day was not the ones we would do in our house...

I watch porn too

Yes, you read it right.

I, Piper, confess that I watch porn...
Probably even as much as a 'typical' guy.

Why do I?
Why not?!

It immensely helps me in satisfying myself when I do it alone. Guys would say that doing it with a partner is better; well it is but NOT always. Not all guys know how to please a woman, all they know about it is satisfying their OWN selves and that's it. Not all guys think out of the box; most of them just do missionary and pump and pump and after five minutes, tadah! Not all guys know how to use their other body parts to create various sensations to their partner. Not all guys know how to use their tongue apart from eating food. Not all guys know how to use their fingers and find the 'spot'. These are just some of the reasons I prefer to sometimes go solo. 

That being said, my top 3 sites to go to are: pornhub.com, redtube.com, and youjizz.com

That's all for now. 


★ Piper ★

Mushy Monday

I got this article from the now defunct peyups.com and I used to be able to relate to this...

★ Piper ★

A Love Letter for the One Who Got Away

Hi! How are you?
You know what? I thought of you today. I don't know how, in the midst of my most hectic days, thoughts of you manage to squeeze their way into my mind. I don't know how you do it, considering that I haven't heard from you for four years now. Come to think of it, I didn't even realize until now that it has been four years. Four years, so many "relationships" since then, and yet, I still go back to you. 

I know, it's not your fault we're not even friends anymore. After all, I was the one who changed numbers and didn't tell you. But please understand that, at that time, I thought it was the best way to go for both of us. I couldn't get the closure that I wanted, because I knew you were just a text away. Besides, back then, I was considering dating one of my closest friends seriously, and the only way I could possibly do that without going crazy was by cutting you off. I’m sorry for that.

I remember how we met. It was the most unconventional of ways. Thanks to our new modem, everything started with a simple, "ASL please," and ended with, "Can I have your number?" And though I regarded you then as nothing more than a group of words that, once in a while, grazed my computer monitor, you managed to jump right off the screen and change my life in a way that no one else was able to do.

I was the ultimate cynic before I met you, and I know I shouldn’t be reminding you of this, because you know this so well. I was the girl who was terrified to commit, terrified to lay her heart out on the open, terrified to gamble, for the weirdest and most confusing reasons. 

Actually, now that I had so much time to think about it, my phobia back then can actually be summed up in four words: fear of getting hurt. I was so petrified at the thought of getting hurt, that I made people believe that I regarded them closely, but actually dealt with them at arms' length. I never let anyone get close enough to hurt me. I originally planned to do the same with you. Of course, you wouldn't allow me. That was one of the reasons why, I believe, I fell for you.

My love life, predictably, has a very sad and sorry cycle. Guy X falls for me. I fall for him. He tries to get close to me. I place him at a safe distance. He tries to get closer. I push him farther away. He gets tired of trying. I get tired of myself. We let go. I try bitterly to move on. I meet Guy Y, but I can't deal with him too well because I'm still moping about Guy X. And the cycle repeats itself almost automatically. I know that to be happy, you have to gamble, but I was never a good risk taker. Not until after you.

You were unlike any guy I've ever met before. Well, you were antipatiko and suplado, even maldita! You were a spoiled brat who was used to getting what he wanted in an instant. Admittedly, I was a spoiled brat too. So we clashed. You hated all the things that I loved, and I loathed all the things that interested you. It was a match made in hell. But somehow, for some unknown reason, you stayed put.

I still don't know how you did it. Well, you did start by texting me once every week. Then you called me once a week. Then the calls and the texts became more frequent, until it got to a point that I was too busy texting you to pay any attention to my classes. I was spending 250 pesos a week for prepaid call cards, which I thought was fair enough, since you were spending the same amount in two days. Plus, my phone's batteries, which used to last all day, was drained in two hours max.

Not long after, somehow, someway, you managed to pull the rug off from under me. And before I even knew what was happening, I had been swept off my feet.

I remember just now, how the simplest of your gestures can make me so giddy. I remember how I was when I used to wait for your call. I used to shudder in anticipation of hearing your voice, literally speaking. And when you text me, it was like nothing else mattered-at all. My former room mates even used to tease me about it. They told me they can always tell when you send me a text message, since my face automatically lights up when I see your name appear on the screen. 

I can vaguely remember the kilig feeling, but I know that it felt like my insides were turning to mush, my muscles were dissolving in electricity, and butterflies were hammering against my throat. I know, they don't sound too good in print, but they are, in actuality, the best feelings in the world.

I remember, still quite vividly, how the mere memory of your laugh was enough to make me smile, and how the mere sound of your voice had been enough to brighten up the darkest of my days. I remember looking forward to waking up every morning, because I knew it would be another day to communicate with you. Somehow, deep down, I knew I was falling for you. Somehow, however, I tried to bury them to the deepest recesses of my heart in the hope of vanquishing them forever.

I remember quite well how you told me, countless of times, how much you loved me. Unfortunately, I am also constantly reminded how cruel I was. Because every time you said you cared, I always found ways to avoid answering back. I'd tell you, "I like you as a person," or I'd say, "Mushy!" It got to the point, however, that I got tired of making up ways to avoid your question that I just told you, "You know I can’t answer that right now." I'm so darn stupid! I would always have to stop from banging myself against the wall when I remember how badly I treated you. And, I know, no matter how many times I tell you I'm sorry, nothing would ever change anything.

You asked me once why I liked you. And I told you, "Because you make me happy." And you know what? You really did. You made me happy, in a way that I never thought I could ever be. I thank you for that.

To tell you honestly, I don't remember how you look like. I can only remember certain aspects, like your braces, and your smile, and the feel of your hand on my back. But I do remember, so very well, the sound of your voice, your musical laughter, and sadly, even the distant and angry tone of your voice as we neared our goodbyes. 

Maybe I'll never forget you. Maybe I'll never live down the fact that I had you-but I let you go. Was it that, or was it that I had you, but I did not work hard, did not fight hard enough to make you stay? I don't know. I don't want to think, and I don't believe that now is the time to rationalize about these things. Because the truth of the matter is, you're gone.

I hate living this life, knowing that I'll be thinking of these "what if's" for the rest of my life. I hate wishing that I could turn back time, so that I could correct all my mistakes, took all the risks I should have taken, and reached for your hand when you held it out for me. But it's too late for that, and it's not even plausible anyway.

I can't help but wonder, once in a while, how you're doing. I wonder if you're happy, or if some lucky creature is making you happy. I wonder if you still think of me, or even just remember that I exist. Because I think of you. Every single day, against my will, against my better judgment. I've fooled myself long enough to believe that you're not important in my life, not essential to my existence. I'm tired of my own masquerade. I just want to acknowledge the fact that yes, you have touched my life, even if I have acknowledged this too late.

A lot of people say, "There are many fishes in the sea." They weren't lying. I found that out myself after we separated ways. I dated like hell when you said goodbye, trying to numb myself from the pain, trying to ignore the emptiness that was left with the vacuum that you created in my life. But you know what? At the end of the day, it was still you. I couldn't find the special spark that I found in you, not even in better-looking or funnier or smarter or richer guys. They didn't have the magic that you had. They couldn't make my insides melt with a smile. They couldn’t ease away all my pains with a call. Simply put, they were not you. Yes, they were many, but none of them was you.

I wish you could see me now. I believe I can safely say that I'm a much better person now than I was four years ago. I have a better perspective on life and love. I don't make up fights anymore just to make things interesting. I don't make up stories anymore to test how much people love me. I don't play mind games anymore. And when I feel something, I say it. I'm not afraid to love anymore. I'm not afraid to get hurt. I'm no longer afraid to take risks. I just wish you were here to see the new, different me. But then again, that could never happen, no matter how hard I try to wish for it.

You know what? Because of you, I promised myself a few things. I promised myself that I would never be afraid to fall or get hurt. I promised myself that I would take risks, seize opportunities, and conquer my fears. I promised myself that I would never settle for anything less than butterflies.

I used to believe that when you lose someone, you'll get a chance to meet them again. I used to believe in second chances. Losing you has taught me that there are no second chances in life. When you meet someone, and you are given that chance to change their lives, you have to take hold of that opportunity, because that is the only chance you've got. You have your chance, and that's it. You have to make the most out of it, and then let go when it's time. People come and go, and you have to live with it.

I constantly have to remind myself that you've done your part in my life. You taught me the lesson you came to teach, so you have to leave. I have to move on. I shouldn't wait.

What I told Mr Ex-Rebound

Two years ago, I was in a serious, romantic long-distance relationship. Prior to it being an LDR, we (he and I) were practically together everyday until I had to leave for a dream that I have long been praying even before I met him (although I did tell him about this when we met)...

LDR went well at the the beginning until such time that I was the ONLY one putting effort and well he, was putting effort alright, but not for me, to another woman. My last message to him after all has been said and done is the one below...




"LEARN TO STAY IN ONE. A relationship isn't only good for the happy parts. You stay for everything. You make it work and not give up. You communicate and try to compromise. You don't highlight the mistakes that have long been forgiven for rather you move on. You wait like you promised. You don't go searching for another one just because you feel 'lonely'. You don't abruptly end one so that you can just conveniently go into another."

★ Piper ★

the Guest part 2

Before you read this, make sure you're done with the first part. 

His hand was still on my breast and slowly he let his fingers explore and pinch it. As if my silence seemed enough reason to continue, Leonard went nearer and continued touching and playing with my breasts. He was clearly enjoying it and even asked me to take my off my top, which I did and without so much of a protest. 

It's like I was mesmerised by this charming guy in front of me. It wasn't really hot but what he was doing to me clearly had me sweating. I didn't know what I was thinking but to just temporarily stop what he was doing I asked him if I could take a shower. Surprised, he said, of course. He stood up then got me a towel, a big, fluffy one. I went to the bathroom which reminded me of the huge bathrooms I like. I then showered and started thinking. I'm a Virgo and I think one trait of Virgo's is the tendency to analyze and overthink things. I was so immersed in my thinking and showering that I didn't hear him come in. I must have forgotten to look the door. 

He immediately positioned himself beneath me and sucked my tits. I inadvertently moaned. But he didn't stop. And I didn't want him to. He then got the loofah I was holding and lathered my entire body. He was looking at my body na para bang I was the sexiest woman he has ever seen. He rinsed me shortly after. I then did the same to him. I kneeled and played with his cock. He has no hair down there and I like it. It was big and long for his height. Hinawakan ko yung cock nya and then sucked it. I played with it until he can no longer take it coz he asked me na tumuwad. Then before I can even think of a reason or retort or reminder for a condom, he's in. Although alam kong malaki yung thing nya, nagulat pa rin ako nung pinasok nya. Moreso when he started pumping. Grabe lang sarap nya bumayo. He was also mashing my tits as he pumped and pumped. Before we know it, I felt him pull out of me and then had his cum on my back. 

Then we both showered and rinsed again. 

He stepped out of the bathroom first and then me. The room was colder now since the A/C has been on longer. He gave me a robe and I declined. He then gestured me to sit on the bed, beside him. Then nakatulog kami. 

Nagising na lang ako to find Leonard's fingers inserted in my pussy. He was putting his fingers in with such force para akong maiihi until I thought naihi na nga ako. But I was wrong. 

I came. And another. Both only c/o his amazing fingers. 

Then we took a nap. 

I woke up at medyo madilim na sa room. I tried to stand up but I felt his arm on my chest. I then asked him what time it was. He said, "time to go to sleep again or time to suck me..." Coz I was worried na baka one day na ako sa bahay nya, I woke him up and told him I'm going home. Then he said, okay. So I thought tatayo na kami but he pushed me down on the bed and inserted his manhood again inside me. I wasn't wet so it was a bit painful but once he started pumping on me and getting his rhythm then I felt my body arch up to him once again. It felt painful but good painful, if that ever makes sense. After missionary, he asked me to do the doggy position and once again, rammed his thing inside me. 

He was continuously pumping faster and faster until his hand gripped my shoulders and he pulled himself out of me. 

I then stood up and worked my way to switch on the light and went to the bathroom to shower. This time I made sure that I lock the door. My pussy felt so swollen. I have been "f#&ked like crazy". 

I heard Leonard knocking on the door telling me he'll shower too. I hurriedly finished my turn and opened the door. He entered and was about to close it when I told him I'm finished. The look of disappointment was unmistakeable. 

Leonard's sexual appetite was insatiable. And I want to make sure that I get to satisfy him if and when the next time will come along. 

Apparently there will be more. 

So much more that I was no longer a "guest" in that white house...

★ Piper ★

Can you relate?

Just saw in IG and just had to share.

Collide

One of my favorite songs...

Have something to ask me?

Are you stalking me? 

Do you think you know me but unsure whether you do? 

Then click on this link and ask me instead :D

★ Piper ★

the Guest...

It was a two-story relatively small (compared with neighbouring houses) house nestled in an exclusive subdivision in Quezon City. The main house was a sprawling mansion-like compound with more cars than my fingers parked outside. I like that despite the grandeur aura of the village it is in, it was homey and unassuming. It was no wonder he prefers to live there. I met him, let's call him, Leonard, in mIRC. No surprise there. If you have read my previous posts in my blog, it is no secret that during my mid-20's I have grown very fond of the various ways a person can meet online. One of the earlier ones of course was mIRC. Those who know what I am talking about probably have also heard of ICQ, Yahoo Chatrooms, YM, of course, and the original "booty call" site as far as I'm concerned (LOL), MySpace. 

I met him from #K channel in Dalnet. During that time the chances of meeting a guy na "pwede" was really high. Internet then was not that cheap hence not a lot had access to it as my IT friends would say. He started with the usual ASL stuff to which I replied. Magka-edad kami. He then asked what school I was from. I told him and asked what made me also chat in that channel. I forgot what I told him but apparently there was something so we chatted more. He asked for my name and told him I'm Penny. I chuckled and he seemed to believe it was really Penny. He asked for my YM and I readily gave it. We continued chatting via YM. He's into water sports and was encouraging me to try other sports especially after I told him I like swimming. 

He then said casually, "when are we meeting?" I was caught off guard. During this time, I haven't really been immersed in the world of EB's and was kinda 'scared' to do so but there was something about Leonard that made me more interested the more we chat. Like me, he was never the type who asked for pictures at the onset, we both rather come up with our own "images" of each other and compare it with the real person. 

He said he'll pick me up right after my class (grad school). My class ends at 8:30pm and thankfully that night we were dismissed early so I still had time to make myself look "presentable enough". One thing about Leonard is that he tells things straight. If he looks like this then it's exactly that. That night, he said he'll be driving this compact car and true enough as soon as I came out of the building, it was there, parked where he said it would. I was all smiles and trying to be 'warm' pero suplado-looking ang peg niya. In fact, he only smiled when I was inside the car. He was wearing a black shirt and denim jeans. No watch, no ring but may kwintas. He is not the tisoy nor artistahin guy but there was something about him that excudes such confidence that makes him sexy and appealing. In fact, sexually appealing. He said he's not maputi nor maitim and stands 5'9. Check naman. This guy clearly doesn't lie. I then sat at the passenger seat and he said, "let's go?" I looked at him, smiled and said, "go where?" And he said, "sa house." I was waiting for a rejection sentence or perhaps something 'polite', like "I'll drop you off where you can take a cab..." 

I was feeling very self-conscious during this time after having been left scarred by an ex. My self-esteem was at its all-time low so I didn't feel I was attractive nor desirable to 

I blurted, "ha? are you sure." He smiled and said, "you're cute; and yes"

We then went to their village which wasn't so far to where I was studying. I was familiar with the area coz I know of a couple of friends from there. I was thankful I didn't bring my car otherwise they would have recognised me. But he lives a bit far from my friends'  side --- in a more"secluded" part of the village. The guard recognised the car and him (of course) and nodded and he just easily drove inside. And that's when I saw it. 

​It's cute and reminded me of houses in the States with patios. This one had a wooden swing set pa. The flowers and plants looked regularly trimmed. No one seemed home. Or at least no one seems to be. He said "let's go..." I still do not know what he had in mind but I seem to be getting more curious by this boyish-looking, lanky yet dangerously sexually appealing man. He's definitely more quiet in person. Like what I said not the typical good-looking but there really is something about him that exudes such confidence that seems to say "I can get any girl or woman I want, when I want." 

A short hallway then the living room with all the latest appliances and cute decors. The kitchen looked like it was in one of those kitchen magazines. But Blue clearly didn't want me to appreciate this. He held my hand and we went upstairs. As I stepped on the third step, I saw their maid and he didn't care lang and we just went upstairs. Obviously to his room. I managed to whisper to him, "where are your parents?" He didn't reply and just led me upstairs. The second floor had three rooms and of course the one we entered had to be his. As soon as we got in, it was clearly a man's room. This was clearly pre-50 Shades period but now that I write this, I am reminded that the room reeks sex; like a sex dungeon of some sort. It was messy with clothes around. The curtains were black. The main part was his huge desk which has his computer. There was also a couch. I sat on it. 

He then said, "you can lie there if you want" and I did. I cannot recall but maybe coming from a long class made the couch in an air-conditioned room the best thing ever. Leonard then sat comfortably on his room's carpeted floor. Then suddenly he was mere inches from me. I got self-conscious and quickly glanced at what I was wearing. Too preppy and not sexy. Tsk, tsk. Before I come up with another weird thought, I suddenly felt his hand on my breast. I was obviously caught off-guard but I didn't say anything. He looked at me; perhaps searching for any look of protest and when saw none, he smiled. For a guy who clearly doesn't talk much, his smiles are doing the talking. 

Part 2...

★ Piper ★

#hugot

There are happy days and there are so-so ones.

Today is the latter.


Have you ever thought of someone you were with wherein it felt so right to be together but it's not?

I saw a couple of quotes from #magic899's show last night. :p



"Sa lahat ng pagkakamali, ikaw ang gusto kong ulitin."

"Kung sayo ako nagkamali, ayoko na matuto."

★ Piper ★

Love Quotes

"A wise girl kisses but doesn't love, listens but doesn't believe, and leaves before she is left."

"Sexiness is a state of mind – a comfortable state of being. It’s about loving yourself in your most unlovable moments." – Halle Berry

"I would rather have had one breath of her hair, one kiss from her mouth, one touch of her hand, than eternity without it." - City of Angels

I have a simple philosophy: Fill what's empty. Empty what's full. Scratch where it itches. --- Alice Roosevelt Longworth

I will choose to stay for all the things you have done right and not for the one thing you have done wrong. - the vow

You're nothing to me until you're everything.

You can't always wait for the perfect time. Sometimes, you have to dare to do it because life's too short to wonder what could have been.

Love doesn't need to be perfect. It just needs to be true.

I can't be me without you.



★ Piper ★

It's a rainy evening here where I am and this is what I'm LSS-ing on.. :D

Francis

Dahil madaming na-"sad" sa Foreigner hence I decided to share na rin this story. 

As you already know I used to frequent mIRC during my early 20's plus I have no qualms meeting new people. Why? I dunno. Sometimes it's the initial flirtation that leads to excitement especially habang papalapit na yung EB day. Another (and medyo weird ito) is I like finding ways of exploring "new" places. Napakadali kong ka-meet kse usually hindi sa lugar ko but typically where the guy is. Gusto ko rin kasi then I was at the stage of continuosly expanding my circle of friends so the more people I meet, the more fun parties then were. And of course, a little percentage is if the guy I was going to meet is a catch e di wow, a huge bonus for me, right? 

So a typical early evening for me and my friends (who also chat religiously then) especially on a lazy Saturday would be to scour Undernet in our favorite channels: #alabang, #admu, #ateneo, #dlsu, #up, #edad25up, #filipino to name a few. I always get "lucky" sa #Alabang. Remember the model with the battery? Dito ko rin yata sya nakilala e plus another one who used to visit me after attending rave parties and bring me munchies and we would just talk and talk until mawala tama nya. I wasn't as 'brave' then so this after party guy didn't get any advances from me. Sayang. I think I was also cautious too coz medyo kasama cya sa close circle my Dad and his grandfather are both part of. Mahirap na 

Anyhoo, that night, my bestie (who's also from the South) and I were just YM-ing waiting for someone to meet. lol. Boring pag kami lang. Taga-South kami but our favorite bar then was El Pueblo in Ortigas to the point na kilala na kami dun at pag puno na suddenly there'll be a table for us. Sadly, some of the waiters thought we were playing with the guys kse nga they would see us with various guy and girl friends. Insert Eve's song (Got What You Need)LOL. So medyo "matumal" that night until I see his nick. Yelong lalaki ang literal na translation (miss neville, sana tama ;p) so I bravely PM'd him. 

   me: Hi there! How's your Saturday doing? 

     F: A bit slow. I'm baby-sitting. (my heart sank. f#&k, may anak)

  me: Aww, your kids? (I HAD to know ;p)

    F: My older sister's

  me: Oh. (yes, single!) Am I distracting you from your baby-sitting chores then?

    F: No it's okay. You're such a welcome and refreshing distraction :-) 

  me: (aba, he's doing MY moves on me!) Is that so? *winks*

  

Let's call him, as you already know, "Francis." Unfortunately, Francis and I did not meet that night. We did however continue our conversation over the phone and SMS. Syempre, career mode na ako coz after swapping Friendster (yes, may FS pa noon) and My Space info. I thought, syet jackpot na naman. lol. He's a swimmer so panalo ang katawan and he's tall enough (5'10) plus he is smart. I thought to myself: ano kaya catch... Hmm..There must be. No one can be this cool. 

That same week, Francis and I both agreed to meet after work. We both work in Makati and both decided to meet at a Starbucks place within Chino Roces area. I was very nervous coz I really want him to like me kasi nga pogi e. Yes, I was that shallow then. No judgement. Yung iba nga dito until now shallow pa din e. hahaha. I hate coming in late atsaka strategy ko rin yun para maka-pwesto discreetly although di ko naman plano i-one way ito. It was also my way of 'preparing' myself which I don't really like since I am just an eyeliner and lip gloss type of woman. Konting suklay then good to go na ako hehehe. Baduy ba? Pero that day, konting face powder and special perfume (yung may gayuma! hahaha joke). 

Meeting time was at 6pm. Medyo dumarami na rin ang tao nun sa lugar so I thought buti na lang dumating ako nang maaga and got a nice enough spot. So gaya ng dati kong style, basa-basa muna pero not fashion magazines kse a cool girl dapat may subscription na nun (haha) so I was reading a newspaper para kunwari smart ang peg lol. Yes, mababaw talaga ako but I don't f#&king care what you think hahaha. Peace 

Then pumasok cya. Syet. Ang tikas ng tayo nya. Naka-office look na hindi barong ha (you know what I mean ). Naka-shades pa. (Naisip ko wala ng araw pero sige ignore na lang yung thought na yun hahaha). Yes, yummy-looking si Francis. And I thought siya na si forever ko.  Our eyes met and I got wet. Syempre hindi pa pero slight yata meron hahaha. 

He went to where I was and said hello. I stood up and he extended his hand, "Francis". I said, "Saint". Saint Francis lang ang peg namin. hahaha. Of course I said my name. His hand was firm yet soft. I was thinking, there must be something wrong --- I cannot be infatuated with a perfect man! He placed his bag on the seat and asked if there's anything else I wanted. Sabi ko, nope I'm good. Pero I wanted to scream, "you! I want you now!" Pero syempre hindi ko sinabi. So bumalik cya and then we talked about common things we've chatted about pero in detail na: the South, where he graduated from, his course, my course, my school, his work, my work, family, to name a few.INTERESTINGLY, no mention of any girlfriend. This guy cannot be single, I thought. It just does not happen. 

So I started talking about that topic. I asked him if it's okay to ask some personal questions. He looked at me, smiled, and replied, "of course." I swear para akong naihi sa tingin nya! So I asked the gf question and he said, medyo cool off sila. Syempre hindi ako naniwala. Susme naman, ano ako 15?! LOL. So I just pretended to understand and act sympathetic pero in my mind I was like, "yun ang wrong sa kanya!" After the coffee, he said sabay na tayo uwi. Sabi ko, cge. Coding ako that day so commute kami. Buti na lang marunong cya hahaha. Anyhoo, tabi kami sa bus at HH na rin kme. So kinilig naman ako. By the way, he smokes so medyo manilaw yung ngipin nya. Naalala ko lang just now so yun lang yung medyo di ko gusto. So we finally reached our destination and had dinner then parted ways. Parang BFE na rin that night. He even asked when kami ulit magkikita. So I said maybe this weekend? He said okay. Aside from HH, isang quick peck sa cheek lang ang meron so nung time na yun I thought wow pang-BF material yata ito then I remembered yung "cool off" story so I reminded myself not to be so trusting.

That Saturday nagkita kme sa ATC. He came from Laguna where his parents live. That day, pareho kaming may dalang kotse. Mine had the manyak tint, of course.  MyEX bf was also from the South and I know that he brings his kid to ATC every Saturday so I told Francis if pwede sa kotse na lang muna kami mag-usap or we go somewhere else. He said, cge. Since my car was the more heavily tinted one, yun ang dinala namin and he drove, of course. We went to the 'other bigger mall' near ATC. He drove with such ease and familiarity of where to park that made me think na sanay na ito. He went down and asked if I wanted something to eat; sabi ko cge grab anything lang and a drink please. So sabi nya, okay. I then looked at my car and tried to "clean" the back area. I also made sure I smell fresher. I even went as far as to check if I wore nice undies that day. And I did.  

So bumalik cya bearing food. Yay. We listened to music and then started eating. He asked me how the rest of my week was although he already knew naman kasi after the 1st meeting e nagte-txt at nag-uusap pa rin kme. He remained a gentleman all those time but I needed to check and test whether this will lead into something romantic or sexy time lang. 

Nag-usap na kme about crazy things we have done in the past. Syempre that was not limited to wholesome things. So he said that nung college sya he had his first of threesome: kambal pa yung girls. Teammates nya sa swim team. OMG. Kaloka ang story nya at syempre nainggit ako and thought I'll do that soon (but of course ibang story yun). Nung time na yun wala pa naman ako masyadong experience so sabi ko pretty much did it with guys I had relationships with. Tapos tumingin cya sa akin. Tapos na kaming kumain nito and pretty much placed our trash sa likod to dispose later. 

He then held my hand and started tracing my fingers. He said, "you have such a smaller than the usual hand 'no?" I nodded quietly, enjoying his warm touch on my hand and trying not to look affected but deep inside I already was. Then his other hand touched my face and just as I dreamed of, we kissed. 

*sparks* *boom* *fireworks* hahaha 

May spark. syet. Nung una, soft kisses until slowly lumalalim at mas nagiging urgent ang mga halik nya. Yung dila nya was expertly teasing mine. His tongue was sweet but with a tinge of salt coz of the fries he had earlier. Nonetheless, sarap. Ang sarap nya halikan. We continued kissing until we both had to stop and breathe. I uttered, "wow." And he said, masarap ba? Tumango at ngumiti lang ako. Then before I knew it, we were kissing again --- this time he was more urgent and a bit more forceful. Rougher than before but I kind of like it. Then naramdaman ko na parang iba na yung hawak nung isa nyang kamay and I had to stop it. He then stopped and said, "sorry". Sabi ko, I just haven't done this before. syempre I have pero not in that mall  so gusto ko lang din i-compose yung sarili ko, stall time, and get confirmation from whether it is a safe place and we won't be caught or what. He said, yes it is safe. I have done it before. Ooopps huli ka balbon, I thought. hahaha. 

So nag-kiss ulit kami at heavy petting which left both of us bitin. 

Pero I thought okay lang yan at least na-kiss ko cya. We then went back to ATC and he got off and we said goodbye. 

I dunno what I am getting myself into but it was clearly not the true relationship I hoped for...

To be honest, clueless na ako sa status namin ni Francis pero I think it was pretty clear na 1) cool off pa rin sila ni gf nya so pwedeng maging sila pa rin ulit soon; 2) he likes me pero not the way I like him; 3) may gusto cyang mangyari sa amin but he can't verbalize it.

After the parking incident, medyo lay low muna ako sa pag-reply kay Francis. During this time, baguhan pa lamang ako sa mga laru-laro e. Although aware ako sa mga pangyayari na one night stands at f#&k buddies e a part of me was still secretly hoping that he likes me --- really likes me. 

Francis called me and asked me why I have not been responding to his messaged. I told him naging busy lang ako maski hindi. I just cannot tell him that I have to stay away from him coz what he wants seems to be different from what I want. But he sensed it. He asked me if we'd like to meet over coffee the following day, after work ulit. So I said, okay. 

I called my best friend and told her that we're meeting the following day. 

The following day, I took extra care to make sure I wear something nicer than the usual. Even my office mates noticed but I just told them I had an interview in another job after. 

Francis came in earlier than the last time although nauna pa rin ako. When I saw him, napa-buntong hininga na naman ako sa ka-guapohan nya. He asked me which beverage I was having and bought our drinks. So small talk ulit about work and non-essentials. 

Then he finally spoke. He said, "ano ba sa tingin mo meron tayo" to which my only reply was me blushing profusely, I bet.  I told him wala but I had to say that I was hoping there can be more. And that's when it slowly and gradually went downhill, at least from my perspective. Sabi nya, "I like you but I..." hindi ko na pinakinggan yung mga iba nyang sinabi kasi parang maiiyak na ako. I like you but... blah blah blah. Bits of what I heard was coz he was still hopeful magre-recon sila ni gf etc. I politely and hurriedly told him I had to leave. I thanked him for coffee, went to the parking, and drove away. 

That was the last time I'd see Francis. 

Or so I thought...

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Lahat naman siguro tayo dumaan na sa masakit at masaklap na phase ng buhay like rejection. Sakit di ba? Di naman ako naglaslas `no pero nag-senti mode ako for 3 days. I was that naïve thinking that our kiss sa parking lot actually meant something. Haha. You have to admit some of you can relate, well, at least yung ibang women, or perhaps even men. 

After that Francis incident e I chose not to go online in mIRC for a few weeks. Susme ang bruha (that's me) talagang affected. Ang lalaki? Deadma. Syempre nung nauntog na ako ay natatawa na lang ako when I think of it but then it was a big deal for me. I'm sure some can very much relate to it. 

I thought long and hard what was it about Francis that seemed to have me fascinated and curious. It probably was because I think there was something there. Obviously, nothing but my naive, younger self failed to see that. 

When I seemed okay na, I finally replied to Francis' message in YM. He seemed nice and sincere naman in asking how I have been. Then it dawned on me that while I was sulking and moping coz of "broken heart" e parang wala naman sa kanya. In short, deadma lang cya. That's when I thought that why would I waste my time over someone who doesn't care. Parang doon na rin ako nagsimula magkaroon ng Pinai 2.0. I thought to myself: no need to waste my time over someone who clearly doesn't give a damn. If you can't beat them, join them. 

So pag tuwing malambing cya e ako din. Kunwari totoo na sweet ako etc. I think he fell for it coz he invited me to meet with him. 

I thought to myself, "aba, dapat pala ganito ginawa ko dati pa". 

We met on Dec 30. For some weird reason, naalala ko pa yung day coz I had to do errands in the morning for my folks. I did not bring a car that day. I took a relatively long commute and waited for him at Festival Mall. I have never been to that mall para lumibot. Now that I think of it, medyo weird. Anyway, we agreed to meet around 2pm. I was there early, 1:45pm so syempre washroom check muna: nakalugay na hair (mabango but not tipong that day lang gumamit ng shampoo ), check; 'cute' and casual porma (tipong umeffort but not too much at mag-feeling cya), check; hint of perfume but not to the point na parang hypnotizing, check; newly-shaved_____ bigote (hahaha jk), check. So I confidently stepped out of the washroom and proceeded to our meeting place. 

Then I saw him. Medyo may kilig pero I had to remind myself not to let him see nor feel anything. Cool lang dapat; parang wala lang. Konting kilig lang naman use yummy pa in cya: walking towards me with his sweet smile and yummy body, oblivious of the looks from other women. Then just like that, I thought to myself, if he cannot be my special someone then I might as well make sure I get as much of him as I can, when I can. He made beso to me. I smelled a hint of sporty musky perfume --- lalaking-lalaki na naman. Sa isip ko, "damn, this guy wants to f#&k and be f#&ked." He asked, "kumain ka na?" Sabi ko, "had breakfast" then he just nodded then replied, "sige, let's just eat inside." There were no questions asked. It was as if he knew in his mind what was to happen without asking me. And the funny thing is, I wanted it too. I just did not say it. 

We went outside the mall and walked towards the jeepney terminal. He was holding my hand so ako naman medyo may kilig but I know better than to show it. So parang casual at usual lang pero deep inside medyo may slight kiligers. 

Then we crossed to the other side. Those people from the South already know what I'm talking about. It was starting then as one of the "alternative" chain for short time stay. So go na kami dun sa place na yun. I'm sure you saw what I did there  It was my first time to do walk in and it was very embarrassing. Guys reading this, PLEASE parang awa nyo na, DO NOT DO it! hahaha

So thankfully, we didn't have to wait too long. It didn't help that the receptionist seemed to have the hots for Francis. Not that I blame her pero I gave her a stare long enough to make her glance the other way. Kunwari bf ko  na lang si Francis lang peg ko nun. I wouldn't mind after all especially since I had the hots for him before. So off we went. In fairness, his hand was still clutching mine. 

Then finally nasa room na kami. It's a little bit more than I expected. It was clean and a bit bigger than what I had in mind. The mirror (which seemed to be a staple in places like these) was just on the side. I inwardly smiled. I then went to the bathroom and it looked and smelled clean. But na lang I almost bring toiletry coz you never know with these places. I then peed and stepped out. Francis looked up (he was sitting at the side of the bed and getting undressed) and smiled at me. As soon as he was only wearing his boyleg undies (pang-model talaga itong mokong na ito; ang TO lang sa kanya ay yung ngipin nya), he stood up then hugged and kissed me. 

His kiss was dry at first. His lips were dry maybe coz of too much of him smoking? I wouldn't know actually. Then I slightly and maybe consciously (or not) quickly licked my lips then his. I slowly teased his tongue by inserting a portion of my tongue inside his. He immediately responded by allowing my tongue entry inside. Hmm, I'm in. I can taste more of him and so far I like what I was tasting. Palalim nang palalim lang halikan namin. I can feel his hands slowly moving towards my breasts. He then paused and swiftly took my top off. I didn't even fight it off. I felt his hands cup my breasts. His left thumb was leisurely playing with my right nipple. I felt it get hard. He did the same with his right thumb to my left nips. Auto-effect naman ang making body parts... Susme, di man lang nag-control. LOL. Then he slowly guided me to sit at the side of the bed. He took off his undies and then sat beside me. He then propped himself to the bed and signalled me to stay beside him. Para akong robot at sumunod na lang. Then we continued where we left off. We kissed and kissed while his fingers expertly played with my breasts. Then his other hand decided to explore something else. He then asked me to take off my jeans to which I obliged. I then felt his fingers "searching" for my v. It was already starting to get wet and got wetter when he inserted one of his fingers inside. It got wetter again we simultaneously played with my clit with another (or was it two) finger/s while the other one goes in and out of me. And he was still kissing me! Ang lalaki nga naman oo -- pag horny, any form of multi-tasking seems possible. 

Everything that came next was a blur. He removed my undies, making us both naked. Dimmed the lights. And then went on top of me. We changed positions as if I was the then-popular Jenna Jameson and him the porn Italian stud (forgot his name). We went from missionary to WOT to me doing GoodSPREAD then finishing with Doggy --- all in our first round. We were both spent and I was scared that the condom was broken after all the position-changing. The second round was spent all in the bathroom and he came all over my tits. 

We then cleaned and lathered ourselves up and went back to the bedroom. We then fell asleep. I was snoozing off when I felt uneasy at my v area. I sleepily glanced down and was not surprised to see Francis eating me. He was licking and nibbling on my pussy. Ang sarap. I just closed my eyes and let the sensation overcome me. Then he stopped and I hear him open the condom pack again and before I can move, he is inside me again. He was pumping me  with such gusto I can see it in his face. And it turned me on so somehow I slowly positioned myself na magkaharap kami and we continued pleasing each other. I then asked him to lie on the bed and I then did reverse cowgirl on him and I felt him relax and just let me be in control. I was so engrossed on finding the right pace of me pumping him that I wasn't too aware of how it was affecting him. As I was about to cum, I heard him moan my name and I felt him breathe raggedly. Nag-cum na cya and I followed...

*** Francis and I did the deed for about three more times after this day. He made it very clear that it was not a relationship so ako chill lang. Right about the same time I was seeing him, a friend who was into photography before introduced me to a friend of hers. He and I were dating as I was seeing Francis on a not-so-regular basis. I didn't see anything wrong with that coz hindi nga kami "serious" di ba. What ended Francis and I's thing however was when he checked my phone (remember the Motorola Razr Pink phone --- so cute!) and saw my video giving head to a guy --- not him. I just looked at him and said, "di ba we are not serious?!" got dressed and left him at theMOTEL. 

★ Piper ★