the Drayber

Have you ever sat and reflected on some things you've done or decisions you've made which you wish you hadn't? I am not saying this is one of those things but I think perhaps it'd be something I would have done differently. 

Growing up, I was not really a goody-goody girl but I am no black sheep. I have always been proper enough when my parents need me to act 'appropriately' (whatever that means). Thankfully (and in spite of toxic environment from people I have met or been with) I was not into any vice. So this experience might be a surprise. 

Sometime five years ago, my siblings and I had someone to drive us around. Actually, it was more for my younger siblings but there were instances that my parents insisted that I have one too since I was usually sleepy after I was done with my corporate work then. That's where Jon will come in. The first time I saw Jon, my thought was like, "F*ck not a good-looking guy please!" From afar, he already looked good in my eyes. Closer, he was better looking. I thought to myself, "good luck." 

He immediately started the following day. I was never used to stuff like this so I went on to immediately sit in front. For me, he wasn't an employee. He was a person. So being the talker that I am, I made small talk. He was engaging and funny. A bit shy and hesitant in the beginning but the more we talked, the more relaxed we were. This went on over the next few weeks. (Keep in mind that during this time, I was still in a relationship. My ex knew about the driver coz he knew my parents were the ones who concerned about it.) To be honest, I kind of enjoyed it since I can rest in the car on the way home or I can meet with friends after work. 

Jon and I became close. I never treated him as a "driver" so if I buy food for take out for myself, I buy him the same stuff or ask him what he wants. He'd always say though, "wag na po," "I'm okay," "busog pa po", and the like. But soon he became more specific and would say what he wants but it'd be typically the cheapest on the menu. Like what I said, he's easy on the eyes so seeing him practically everyday makes my day. 

We reached a point where we already talked about our respective relationships. That time, mine was at a point where it was just "steady": everything has been a routine between my then bf and I. Sadly, the sexy time wasn't as often as I wanted partly because we planned not to have kids yet. Jon too had a girlfriend then. Interestingly enough, he candidly said that I remind him of his girlfriend. He didn't know that I took note of that bit of information . It was a slip that I will not forget.

One Friday night, my friends and I decided to meet for dinner and perhaps "2 bottles" for them since I rarely drink. So as soon as Jon picked me up, we went straight to Greenbelt where I will meet my friends. Thankfully, he looked presentable than usual that night. I told my friends I had a "driver" and they just told me I can easily just ask him to eat nearby. I told him he's not so far from our age and he's 'cool' so he can join us, I think. My friends said okay. So we parked and then went to the place. One of my friends immediately took a liking to Jon as soon as she saw him. She then said if I was messing around with him. I said no and then I remember my friend muttering, "why not...he's yummy-looking." I have to admit when she said that I felt somewhat annoyed. 

...That night, I decided that I'll drink since someone will drive anyway. As I was enjoying the night away with my friends and yes, even with Jon, my then boyfriend sent me a text message. From the looks of it, it seems he's in the mood to pick a fight with me. And I was too. I already forgot what it was about but I think the petty quarrel became bigger until I stopped replying to his messages completely. 

I started drinking and drinking more that even my friends were asking me if I was okay. I nodded then forced a smile. The whole time this was going on (me and my ex fighting), my friends were already "grilling" Jon. And my friends really do know how to grill someone. My friend directly asked him if he is married or in a relationship. He answered the latter. She followed-up by asking if he ever cheated. He said, "not yet." That response made my friend's eyebrows shot up. She then prodded him, "not yet?" and added, "so may plans ka?" Interestingly, Jon did not say no. Hmmm...

The night went on in a blur. And I soon found myself saying goodbye to my friends. Pero, ayaw ko pang umuwi. Mind you, wala pa akong "maitim" na balak. Ayoko lang muna umuwi. Defensive na ba ako? hahaha. Going back sa story, I told Jon that gusto ko pa uminom to which he was surprised. Since I seldom really drink, I think he already had a feeling that I was already feeling a bit buzzed. Nonetheless, he followed my order. We parked at Shell in BGC, the one near the Jollibee and Starbucks. I just asked him to buy some more booze. As soon as he got back, I drank a bottle maybe in two or three gulps. Then sumandal ako which, is not a good idea. I started getting dizzier than the usual. Medyo bits and bits of info yung napag-uusapan namin ni Jon but I know that umabot na cya sa relationships etc. 

He asked me if may problem daw ba ako since I don't usually drink. Sabi ko wala. I then told him that I just miss being intimate. As soon as I blurted it out, I regretted it. Pero nasabi ko na e. (My then bf and I both agreed to medyo bawasan ang "moments". Since this ex and I broke up, itinaga ko sa bato that this rule WILL NEVER happen again hahaha). 

Suddenly, Jon seemed more handsome in my eyes. I stared at him and realized na light brown pala mata nya at mahaba ang pilik mata. Then I placed my hand over his. Tumahimik cya bigla. I wondered, parang hindi cya gulat. Parang he knew this would happen or maybe he expected it too or even better, maybe he hoped it too? At that moment, I was flattered kasi nga pogi naman so keri na. I lifted my right hand at hinawakan ang mukha nya. My thumb grazed lower lip. Ang pula. Napapikit yata ako nito. 

As if napaso ako, I immediately removed my hand from his face pero kinuha nya ito --- hinawakan ang kamay ko, HH style then pinisil. In fairness, lambot ng kamay ni Jon ah. Alta ang kamay  Yung isa ko kasing dinate dati e ang lakas maka-S ng kamay --- lakas maka-sandpaper hahaha. Holding hands lang kami ni Jon. He was quiet and so was I. I was wondering how it would feel to kiss him. 

I didn't let my wonder linger...

I then looked at Jon and slowly inched my way closer to him. No longer hesitating, I kissed him. Softly. Enjoying bit and bit his soft lips. Thankfully, he wasn't anaconda-like when he kissed; in fact, it felt like a boyfie kiss. Gets nyo yun? Sweet. Soft. Caring. Lakas maka-virgin. 

I think we kissed for a good five minutes or so. Ang sarap. Soon after that, we went home na and yes, he held on to my hand if he wasn't busy driving.

That night was the beginning of something I wished hadn't happened but hey, all of us learn from our mistakes, right? 

I have another story about Jon next time...

★ Piper ★

Casper

I am overwhelmed and encouraged by the positive comments. I know my writing isn't publish-worthy but these posts have long been promised to my friends here. :P Might as well start somewhere. :-) By the way, the posts are not all SGP. They vary so please feel free to indulge yourself in reading them.

Who doesn't forget their first? Even the most cocky, playboy/girl-ish men and women have their own share of firsts. And me, simple ol' me also have my own share. Now before you get excited if it's my first time in doing the thingy, it's not... awwww :P Read on! 

I mentioned in this A-Z series about Alvin who suddenly went MIA. I also did mention that people do not usually learn after a one-time mistake; usually takes more than that. I am not proud to say that the first guy I considered my "boyfriend" and I met in a very unorthodox way. He probably was doing what I did in the Alvin story one day in August of 1995. I was at my Dad's office when I picked up the phone. He looked for another person's name; I told him "wrong number". 

During this time, it was pretty common to get a wrong number so I just quickly hung up after. A good five or ten minutes after, he called again and since my Dad wasn't back yet, I picked up the phone again. It was him. I forgot what his words were but I soon found myself talking with him. 

I was a few days shy of my 15th birthday and he was 19. Let's call him Casper because it was the movie about to be shown or was being shown right about that time. Casper, based on what he told me, is a 3rd year college student from FEU. Management something yung course. He was a drummer in their pep squad. During this time, UAAP wasn't as big as it is today although I was already a fan because Paolo Mendoza was my crush. 

At the end of our first hour-long conversation, he asked for my phone number. What followed was a two-week long "courtship." Then, we became a couple. At this point, I still have not seen him and there was still no FB or IG. But we both agreed we will meet, of course. It happened on a Tuesday afternoon. 

My Mom was still at work. And my Dad wouldn't be home yet. My grandmother tended to some errands so only the house help were at home. They knew Casper will be there. I was giddy and scared. After all, what if he wasn't the guy I had envisioned. His description of himself was pretty much typical and genetic: 5'6 1/2 tall, medium built with muscles coz of his drumming thing, clean cut, not maputi nor maitim. Heck, he could be anyone! Pwede rin yung nagta-tricycle sa kanto but of course I didn't say that. I just said: "whatever you look like, I already care for you." 

That line still works for me in the present day. LOL. Going back, I heard a trike stop. 

I told him our gate was white but it wasn't. So I saw this guy alight the trike, and then glanced in my direction. It was then that I opened our gate and asked him to come in. My heart was beating very fast. OMG, I'm kilig! This is it. In present time, this is like the #kathniel with a mix of Forevermore. Okay, I'm exaggerating but I felt so happy, it's like my lips were on auto-smile. As soon as I closed the gate behind us, he grabbed my hand. Then I came. KIDDING! Agad agad?! LOL We then went inside and sat at the sofa. 

I was reeling with the reality. OMG. You've arrived, P. May boyfriend ka na. You're 15 and he's uhm, so matured. Si "Ate" served us snacks then discreetly left us. I noted that I will treat her isaw later that day. haha. One thing that I can still remember vividly was how great Casper smelled. Susme, parang walking perfume. Ang his hands, which never let go of mine, were so soft. Parang hindi nagda-drums. So we were sweet sweet and all. He asked about school which ended early on that day etc. He saw a guitar lying around the house and he gamely got it and sang for me. 

In my mind, ay grabe mahal ko na siya. Hahaha. Then we stopped. He then stared at me and asked if he may kiss me. I'm like. OMG. Hala, how will I tell him I have no idea how to kiss. Sa tanang buhay ko, ang naka-kiss pa lang sa akin ay Dad ko at Lolo ko. Susmaria. Baka mabuntis ako. Yes, that's how innocent and naive I was. Akala ko pag ki-niss ako ay mabubuntis ako. He sensed my hesitation and nervousness. He said, "okay lang if you're not ready." 

I looked at him gratefully but a nagging feeling didn't leave me. I was curious and scared. Obviously, my curiosity got the better of me. I looked at him and said yes. He looked at my face (imagine, shy pa ako nun so medyo naka-bow sa side nang unti ang head). :P He tipped my head and lightly grazed thumb on my lips. I closed my eyes. 

Oh my gosh. I was thinking. "Papatayin ako pag nabuntis ako pero baka hindi naman mabuo..." Then slowly, I can feel his breath on my face then he kissed me on my lips. Sweet, soft, and short. I opened my eyes and looked at him. I asked, "yun lang?" 

Then he laughed and he said I didn't want to do something you might not like. Sabi ko, it wasn't even long enough for me to know whether it was something I'd like or not. He smiled then he said, "okay." I then braced myself. Again. Then he stopped. 

He said, have you heard of the crucifix kiss? I looked at him as if he said the most amazing thing on Earth. "What?", I uttered. Then he said, it's like this. He then kissed me ever so lightly on my forehead. Wow. Sarap. Then he went to my left cheek, then to my right. Lastly, he went to my lips. He kissed my lips with such softness that I felt like I had butter on my lips. 

It wasn't forceful nor aggressive and during that young age of mine, I thought it was love... Aaargghh... Casper gave crucifix an entirely different meaning.

★ Piper ★

Battery!

I am thankful that I grew up during the time that working on our homework and research papers really entailed labouring in the library and going through books older than myself. In spite of this tasking exercise, I remember that I enjoyed doing these things instead of how the now millenials go about with their work doing everything easy and fast. You seldom hear people saying how enjoyable the research work was. Oh well.

Anyway, in late '98 or '99, I discovered the world of chatting via the Internet. Since 1996/97, I have already been curious about the Internet but officially started using it in '97 when I entered college. My curiosity and boredom led me to the world of ICQ, YM chatrooms, and yes, the mIRC. It was an entirely different, that mIRC. Suddenly, you had an entire environment clearly devoid of any identity --- you can be anyone. I can be anyone. The world of anonymity was exciting, very exciting. I only frequented then two servers: Undernet and Dalnet. I still remember the smile on my face once the then dial-up system has successfully connected. Using Internet cards then with "unlimited" connection at certain hours seemed like the freebies of the current world.

 In one of those nights, I met Macky. It was in a wholesome channel. I was 19, he was a year younger. We chatted until the wee hours of the morning. He then asked for my landline number. During this time, mobile phones were already available but not as dependable as today. We enjoyed talking with each other and I got to know him more. Sadly, I also had to leave the country that time. But we continued communicating, albeit not regularly, via YM. We became really good friends and he'd keep me updated with his modelling gigs. (Macky was a ramp model.) At sometime during our YM's, we had already traded pictures and I guess he didn't like me enough to make a move on me or perhaps he treasured our 'friendship' more. He'd always say it was the latter but I think the realist me always thought it was the former. Nonetheless, we kept contact and remained to be 'friends'.

 Fast forward to 2003, I am already back in Pinas for a good few years right about this time. Chatting in mIRC was still "in" but other ways have taken form.

One Saturday night, Macky buzzed me. Surprised (pleasantly, mind you), I immediately typed, "uy musta?" He then asked how I've been etc. We would sometimes already text but during this time we'd still keep in touch via YM or mIRC. He asked if I wanted to see him. I answered nonchalantly, "okay lang." (Deep inside, I was like, hell YES... pogi e! hahaha) Then he said, "wow, napilitan..." I told him, I felt it was anti-climatic but he said, "come on, let's really hang out! we have known each other for years now..."

To make the long story short, us, South peeps both decided to meet in Eastwood. During that time, Eastwood was the place to be. The center area in Eastwood, where the mall and buildings are now, was just a parking lot before. We agreed to meet in Bargo. I brought my closest girl friend and he told me he'll also bring in his closest buddy.

My friend and I arrived early and was just enjoying chatting when this effing good-looking guy approached our table. I was thinking, (t#ang%na, he looks wayyyy better in person). Smiling, he extended his hand which I immediately shook. We then introduced our respective friends. We are having a great time at the bar when his friend, let's call him, Eric said we should just hang out somewhere else. My friend and I said yes.

Since I had my car and he had his too, we both decided that he will ride with me and my friend (who thankfully clicked with Eric) will ride with Eric in his car. So off we go and convoyed until we reach my friend's apartment in Makati. (We bought some booze along the way) We started drinking.

During this time, I was already not really a drinker so it was pretty much a drinking fest among the three of them. Then we played Truth or Consequence. Alam na. :P

My friend and I were both whispering that kissing any of them wouldn't be so bad. In my mind though, I know that I just want to kiss Macky. The questions were too revealing and personal and the consequences were too exciting: kiss sa noo, smack sa lips, FK, FK for 10 seconds, FK for 20seconds, you get the drift.

Needless to say, I was able to kiss both: Eric on his cheek and Macky on his lips (yes!) LOL. Ang sarap. Ang lambot.

And the great thing was he responded with gusto. Whether it was the liquor or libog, I'll take it haha. We then took pictures or selfies as the younger generation now would call it, using a good old digi cam. My 6600's picture then wasn't clear so thankfully my friend brought out her cam.

 Then Eric and my friend started getting into it. They were kissing and I can see Eric's hands on my friend's legs and waist. As I looked at Macky, he then kissed me. The kissing was getting heavy and touchy so I told my friend we'll go to her room. She said okay.

A few minutes later, they went in too. My friend has two twin-sized beds in her room so each of us positioned ourselves comfortably. Lights were out and we both knew that each couple was heavily making out. I can hear my friend moaning from their kisses (and who knows what else) and I inadvertently found myself moaning too from Macky's kisses and touch.

Suddenly, my friend and Eric stood up. I then felt my friend's voice telling me they'll just go to the bathroom. I already knew what it meant. Since she was going to do it, I thought I might as well since I know anyway that's what I want. Thankfully, Macky has a condom. The whole time we were kissing and dry humping, I can sense his tool.

Macky stands 5'11 1/2 and my semi-naive thought then was his tool would be relatively long and big considering. I can feel his hardness as he (still with his clothes) went on top of me continuously kissing me and removing my top.

 Fast forward...we were both already semi-naked and can feel the urge to be connected. He asked me if it's okay and I told him yes and just reminded him to put the condom. And then bang. I can feel him doing pumps on top of me and I asked him, "babe, put it in." hoarsely he replied, "it is in, babe" I can feel nothing or perhaps a finger thing.

I moved a little bit to accommodate him easily just in case. F*ck nothing. He just proceeded and continued it and I, pretending to enjoy it until he said, "I'm coming..." I lied, I said, "me too"

 It was after this that I finally saw the "battery" --- To make things worse (the guys left morning the next day), my friend and Eric didn't do it! She got scared with Eric's big tool! Eric stands 6'2. Grrrrr...

Every time we talk about that crazy and epic night, one word: battery!


★ Piper ★

Alvin

I grew up during the time where a PLDT subscription application does not take a week, a month, a year, not five years, but a decade. hahaha. Okay, that may be an exaggeration but our application where I grew up took a while. 

You can only just imagine how psyched I was when we finally had a landline phone! I was 15 then and was at the stage where I take joy watching Ang TV yet was also curious reading Sidney Sheldon and Danielle Steel books. I was the type of teenager who'd still wait for my Mom to alight from the trike (clearly we didn't have our own vehicles then). But, I was also the type very eager to "fall" in love, whatever that means. :P 

 The only thing I kept myself preoccupied then was the landline phone we had. When everyone else had turned in, I'd take the receiver and dial a bunch of numbers. Those who are within my age, know this the crossline era. You'd hear many people taking at the same time throwing in names (or aliases) and a bunch of numbers. Nice sounding guys had their numbers written down. (I will find out later though that not all nice-sounding guys are good looking ones.) 

One of these numbers was a guy named "Alvin." He was pleasant sounding on the phone and was a good 3 or 4 years older than me. He seemed "decent" in the way he communicated with me. Or perhaps I clearly didn't know then. We kind of became a "couple" which then seemed okay enough. He was sweet, consistent (in calling), and seemed to want to see me. Until one day, nothing. No calls. Nothing. I called him but there were reasons like he wasn't home to he was already asleep. The current Pinai would have ended there but the naive and stupid me called like crazy. I cried too. He never called me ever again. Alvin was my first virtual heartbreak. Nonetheless, I learned from this experience and make sure not to let this happen again. But of course, (like with most of you), it was easier said than done. 


★ Piper ★

What's your story?

I have always wondered what's behind a person's success, or failure in some cases, whether it be in work, family, love, and family. I shall soon be leaving my "old world" hopefully permanently yet my stories continue. I hope you shall join me still as I embark on my "new journey"

★ Piper ★